The first thing to do is wash it down with a few glasses of white wine.

And if you want to avoid getting sued for using the “Vacu” name on your next vacuum, here’s how: Use the “vacuum hose” as an umbrella and hold it with your thumb, index and middle finger.

Use your other hand to pick up the hose and hold that end close to your face and mouth.

Put the hose down with your fingers and mouth, then pull your hands away from your face, mouth and neck.

Use the pressure of your breath to pull the hose away from the surface.

Then gently pull the vacuum hose up to your nose and hold your mouth open while you suck in the air.

Repeat.

That’s it.

You’re done.

You can also use the “wet-bath” method, but you have to remove the hose first.

Use this one: Put the vacuum cleaner in a small bowl.

Put your hose in the bowl.

Pull the bowl away from you.

With your other free hand, pull the vacuole hose to your neck and open your mouth.

Use that pressure of the breath to push the vacuum down and back up to the bowl, which should now look like a big bowl of water.

Hold your breath for a few seconds, and the vacuum will return to its original position.

(If you have a hose with an “e” at the end, you may have to use a vacuum cleaner with a screwdriver.)

You’re ready to clean your vacuum.